Here is part two of the series on how to navigate the financial waters of a committed relationship.

3. Know what works for you

Should couples combine finances?

There is no single answer to this one. I’ve seen couples who’ve been married 30+ years and keep everything separate. I’ve also met lots of couples who combined everything before they were married.

Anecdotally, I’d say we see more young couples choosing not to blend their finances nowadays.

With internet banking and modern financial tools, it really shouldn’t matter.  Every couple will be unique; find a system that works best for the two of you.

4. Have a fair expense strategy

How should couples decide who pays for what?

Again, I don’t think there is a single answer to this question, either.

I’ve seen couples split everything right down the middle and just about every other type of arrangement.  Some split the big bills like the house, cars, and college debt, while others divide the responsibility by what they brought into the marriage.

You can also split the bills based on your relative earnings or when you get paid.

As I said, there are many, many ways to handle the bills. But here’s the test I think any strategy should be required to pass – do both parties feel it’s fair, and does it avoid putting unequal stress on one spouse?

5. Hire a financial planner

How can couples handle a financial dispute in a relationship?

I can offer some general advice based on my personal experience and what I’ve seen with clients over the last 20 years.

You must find a way to acknowledge and appreciate your spouse’s perspective. The disagreements I’ve seen are usually about the level of risk each spouse wants in their portfolio, i.e., how much stock vs. bonds.

Some people are natural risk-takers, and others are not.  Having a financial planner facilitate the discussion often helps couples find a happy middle ground.

Money discussions often include a lot of emotional baggage. Having a third party, whether it’s a counselor, online legal services, or a financial advisor, can lead to the acknowledgment and appreciation of each viewpoint that’s so important to a healthy discussion.

 

I hope this has been helpful to you as Part 2 of the series of couples financial goals.  Be sure to tune in next week for part 3 of this series.

 

Thank You and God Bless,

Vik Nathan