Funny title, right?! So many times, we get caught up in our own stuff that we get caught in a communication vacuum.

WHAT IS A COMMUNICATION VACUUM, you might ask. Let me explain. When you are trying to communicate with your spouse, are you listening, really listening to what they have to say OR are you playing in your head what you are going to say to them?

OK, if you are not listening to them and giving them your full attention, they will respond in kind and not listen to you. Then, you are in a communication vacuum. You need a vacuum cleaner so you can hear clearly!

So, to become a vacuum cleaner, you need to start over. Convey to your spouse that you have something important to say. This takes commitment. So, both of you will need to commit to certain things in order to move forward.

1. Tell your spouse when you have something to say that is important to you.
2. Put the cell phones down and turn off the TV.
3. Face each other. This is important to have eye contact.
4. Speak clearly.
5. Learn to listen when your spouse is telling you something that is important to them.
6. Repeat back what you heard to make sure you are on the same page.
7. Speak in words that they can understand. This means if your spouse likes details, then you must give them all the details. If they like highlights, then give them the highlights. If after you have said all you were going to say and they need more, they will tell you. If your spouse is an affirmation kind of person, then you need to show them that you are interested in what they are saying. You might have to ask them a question so they know you heard them and are taking an interest.
8. ASK QUESTIONS, especially if you don’t understand. They will appreciate it!

If you follow these steps, you will become a vacuum cleaner! In Ephesians 4:29 NIV, it says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

I hope this helps you and your marriage! You can always go to our Prayer Wall and add a prayer request. It does not need to be about marriage or a relationship. It can be about anything! It would be our pleasure to pray and stand with you!

If you need to talk with someone, please reach out to info@unitymarriageministry.org. It would bless and honor us to speak with you! REMEMBER:

WE    ARE     HERE     FOR    YOU!