When we get married, most of us think how much fun and happiness being with the ‘love of our life’ is going to be. We are excited, giddy and so full of joy.

Then as the days go by, reality starts to set in. Things become harder and harder. The love we had when we got married is not the same love that sustains us through the highs and lows of marriage.

Then something happens and one of you became disabled. Now your partner has to be the primary caregiver in the relationship. That happened to my husband, Vik, and I.

Eleven years after saying ‘I do’, Vik sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I was told he would be in the hospital 2-3 months. My head was spinning! I didn’t know what to do. I prayed and asked everyone I knew to pray. I posted on prayer walls wherever I could find them! God heard me! We walked out of that hospital on the 5th day! God gave us a miracle!!!

We shortly learned things would never be the same. Vik’s entire personality changed. Something I was not prepared for. To say it has been hard is an understatement! Thank goodness I have a strong faith or else I don’t know where we would be today. You see, this happened in 2017 and it has been a long road.

Jesus said it would not be easy. In a marriage, we are called to live humbly. We are to put others’ needs above our own. That is what Christ did and He is our example.

However, we live in a world where ‘me first’ is what the flesh wants. So, when one person is disabled, their needs come before your own. For the caregiver, sometimes, this can lead to anger, feelings of resentment or even depression. The only way to overcome is with lots and lots of prayer!

My Savior is the one I would cry out to because I was way in over my head, and I did not know what to do. This was before I had an intimate relationship with Jesus. I believed in Him, but it’s not the same as now. With everything that has transpired, my walk with my King is so much deeper! It was God who has led me there because I would not be able to do it under my own strength!

I had to learn complete humility to be able to do what God has called me to do. You see, when you can put yourself second, our almighty Lord, can use us to help His children. Not only in marriage, but in other relationships. When you can let the Holy Spirit lead you, He will take you places you probably would not have gone on your own. So, learning humility has helped us to have a healthy marriage.

We still have our ups and downs. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit has to remind me who I am in Jesus Christ so I don’t become resentful. It’s easy to fall into that trap! That is why when we have had the baptism by fire, the Holy Spirit is within to guide us, nudge us and even kick us in the behind from time to time to get our attention….lol! It’s only because Jesus loves us.

As I close today, let us always remember to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” Your answer will ALWAYS be to love first!

If you are in need of prayer, please go to our Prayer Wall. Your prayer does not need to be about marriage or relationships. It can be about anything. It would be our pleasure to pray with you!

Also, if you need help with your relationship or marriage, please send us a message at info@unitymarriageministry.org. We would be honored to assist! REMEMBER:

WE     ARE      HERE     FOR     YOU!