This article is about the love of the man for his wife, and about the position of the husband as head and leader.
The concept of a family functioning to its fullest capacity without assigned responsibilities is as ludicrous as a championship football team with no designated positions and no assigned tasks for each player. And yet this is what most families do. They have no assigned roles and responsibilities for the husband and wife.
However, thankfully, we have a Father in heaven who, in his infinite wisdom, assigned specific responsibilities to each member. The husband is the leader of the family, the wife is his helper, and the children are the responsibility of both.
There will be times where God’s commands sometimes go “against the grain” of our way of thinking, but remember his ways and timing are always perfect. Regarding the role of the husband, we are to lead and love – to be a loving leader. As stated in Ephesians 5:23 we read God’s instructions on the quality of this leadership:
“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”
This is quite an example to follow!
Qualities to be imbibed by the husband.
- The husband should be a loving servant-leader. Instead of focusing his attention on himself, as the world would suggest, he should focus on his wife’s needs. His focus should be for the good of his wife. Jesus said that he “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:45). This is our pattern for leadership as husbands.
How did Jesus go about this servant leadership?
- He dedicated a significant amount of time with his disciples.
- He was careful in how he instructed them.
- He led them by example.
- And he gave them full access to everything in that he made them full partners in his ministry.
Our challenge is to apply these principles to our relationships with our wives. Doing this will bring great reward.
Shortcomings:
An area where we can generally grow in our love walks with our spouse is in our responsibility to oversee our wives’ spiritual lives. If your wife is not making progress, or is even in a slump, it is your prayers and leadership that are necessary ingredients (and urgent requirements) for enabling her to get back on a strong pattern of spiritual growth. A great resource for overcoming the slump is the book “The Power of a Praying Husband.”
God calls us also to love our wives. In Ephesians 5:25-28 God commands us three times to love our wives – twice to love her as we love ourselves and once to love her as Christ loves the church. What a challenge it is to love our wives as Christ loves his church.
Ways Christ’s love for the church is described in the Bible:
- Unconditional (Romans 5:8),
- Volitional (Ephesians 1:6, 7),
- Intense (John 13:1),
- Unending (Jeremiah 31:3),
- Unselfish (Philippians 2:6,7),
- Purposeful (Ephesians 5:25, 26),
- Sacrificial (1 Peter 2:24),
- Obvious (John 14:1-3).
To love our wives, we must be concerned for their varied needs – physical, emotional, intellectual, social, recreational, sexual, and spiritual. None can be overlooked.
In some cases, we husbands, may feel guilty for our past failures. The good news is God has a cure: confess your failures to God and to your wife. Perhaps you feel inadequate to carry out everything listed on the job description for a husband. If you do, take heart. After 16 years of marriage, my testimony is that I’m still learning! Hope that helps! Have a good day.